How about 42? “You’re always on my mind.” Thanks!

aphrodites-law:

Lexa still couldn’t wrap her mind around it. The night before Christmas she’d fallen asleep in her Manhattan penthouse, phone still by her ear after concluding an important call with Azgeda, and the next day she’d awoken in a Seattle suburb.

With a wife.

And a child.

A living, breathing, screaming child.

Naturally, as one did when they awoke in a parallel universe where their Other Self had made some questionable decisions, Lexa fled.

Only, it was below freezing temperatures outside and the only way out was a goddamn Subaru buried in inches of snow.

So Lexa stayed. Stayed in the small house with the baby spit on every piece of furniture and the pictures of herself she didn’t recognize on the walls. Kept her awful secret to herself – that this was not her life. That someone had forced her to step in some other Lexa’s shoes and that she did not feel particularly comfortable in those shoes.  

Clarke was gorgeous, to be sure.

And Iris… Iris had her moments, when Clarke put her in her arms to be burped and she suddenly looked at her with her big blue eyes and drooling grin, but Lexa was not a mom.

And she was not a wife.

And this was a terrible mistake and a terrible waste of time.

Still, after a few days, Lexa had to resign herself to the truth: no mopping and no furious googling would change anything at all. She was well stuck here – once a sharp businesswoman, now a police officer with a cheery goddamn partner. This Lexa was friends with her colleagues, apparently went on runs every morning with Clarke’s best friend, Raven, and walked the dog every night. A big Bernese Mountain Dog that shed so much that Lexa could not find a single item of clothing without hair on it.

Adjusting was not easy, but Lexa figured she’d never backed down from a challenge before. Besides, waking up to a beautiful blonde every morning wasn’t so bad… especially when said blonde was so goddamn fascinating, with her passion for teaching astronomy and her seemingly endless patience. Yes, indeed, Clarke was…

Well. Lexa could understand it.

Even if she had sworn off love herself.

She got how Clarke could be the one. At least for Other Lexa. The wedding photos made a compelling case, too. Other Lexa looked at Clarke like she came from the sky and put the stars to shame. And the baby pictures, too, of course, with Clarke looking so tired yet so happy. With Other Lexa’s eyes full of tears, looking down at the small bundle in her arms – their baby girl.

Iris was about five months old now, from what Lexa had gleaned (she’d figured asking anyone would make her Worst Mother of the Year), and she was a pudgy little thing.

Sometimes, like tonight, it was Lexa in charge of bath duty, and well… things did not get more bizarre than being entrusted with a baby’s bath time. Once plopped in the water, Iris had looked up at her mother with a big pout and shiny eyes. In a panic, Lexa had dropped all the rubber ducks in the water and heaved a sigh of relief when Iris suddenly lit up and put to work her grabby hands.  

Lexa sat by the bath with one hand pressed against the baby’s back, terrified she might tilt back. She watched and watched as Iris played and blew saliva bubbles, sometimes turning around and looking up at her, as if expectant, until she went back to her ducks. In those moments, Lexa couldn’t help but stare at her. Iris had a small tuft of dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, which Lexa found to be as disarming as Clarke’s. But she could also be grumpy at times, shrieking and screaming until she was held and bounced.

It was exhausting.

And fulfilling – sometimes.

“Hey, cuties.”

Lexa turned her head to see Clarke rolling her sleeves up and kneeling by the tub with a full grin. Her cheeks and nose were still a bit red from being outside, and Lexa figured she’d come straight up after taking off her shoes.

Lexa had learned very quickly that Clarke loved their daughter’s bath time. Predictably, she kissed Lexa’s cheek in greeting and then reached out to shake Iris’s clenched fist.

“Hi, sweetheart, you having fun with mama?”

At Iris’s responding shriek and splashing hands, Clarke let out a laugh and tickled her soft belly. “Yes, you are. I can see that. Look at you surrounded by your little duckies. I could stare at you all night.”  

“Do you want to clean her?” Lexa quietly asked, suddenly feeling like a fraud. 

Clarke gave her a funny look. “You didn’t already? Were you actually just staring at her this whole time, you sap?”

Lexa gave a small smile and got up. “I guess so.”

* * *

Iris was fully bathed and put to bed by the time Clarke came back downstairs. She found Lexa in the kitchen looking at the photos on their fridge and squeezed her elbow. Lexa jolted and turned around, swallowing hard at the sight of her wife.

Clarke chuckled and looped her arms around her neck, their bodies flush against each other. Her smile was intoxicating; like the feeling of drinking mulled wine by the fireplace after a day in the snow.

“I’ve been jumpy too,” Clarke murmured.

Lexa was at a loss, trying hard to keep her eyes from glancing down. She settled her hands on Clarke’s waist.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm. I can’t wait for tomorrow night.”

“What’s tomorrow night?”

Clarke let out a breathy laugh before brushing her nose against Lexa’s neck.

“Good one, Officer. I’m dropping Iris off at Raven’s and then…” she said in a huskier tone, “I’m slipping into that black negligee you like, so you better hurry back from work.”

“Right,” Lexa answered with a hard swallow. “Tomorrow. Of course.”

Clarke smiled up sweetly at her, brushing the fine hair at the base of Lexa’s neck. “Thank you for being so patient with me.”  

Lexa didn’t know what she’d done to deserve the thanks or why Clarke and Other Lexa had seemingly planned for sex on that particular night, but maybe she could wriggle her way out of it. Surely, that was a line she couldn’t cross… 

“Are you sure you’re… that you want this?” She asked, terribly affected by Clarke’s gentle gaze.

Clarke nodded. “I know it was too soon the last time I said this, but now I’m sure. I’ve been… touching myself in the shower, and my body’s been plenty receptive.”

“Oh okay,” Lexa answered with a hard swallow. She couldn’t think about it. There was no way. “That’s good.”

Clarke nipped on her earlobe, making Lexa’s eyes flutter shut. Since when did that affect her so much?

“You have no idea,” Clarke sighed, “How much I want you. How slow work’s been these past few weeks, thinking about this weird in-between we’re in.”

“You – you think about me at work?” Lexa whispered, unused to the idea. It was unlikely anyone ever thought about her back in Manhattan. Her employees loathed her. Her mother only sent cards on her birthday. Her sister… God, how long had it been since she’d sat down with Anya for a chat? Nobody thought about her, of that she was certain. Not that she could blame them.

Yet… Clarke pulled back and smiled lovingly at her. “You’re always on my mind, babe. Always.”

And maybe Lexa could get used to that.