Clarke spends 90% of the show trying to get a rise (😬) out of Lexa.
She refers to her boobs as The Showstoppers once and it’s met with stony silence. Lexa is unamused. She glares, because “this is a serious competition, Clarke.”
But Lexa’s not as stoic as she pretends to be. She’s just gulping constantly. Little ears tipped pink. Trying not to react to the unrelenting barrage of filthy baking innuendos:
– Lexa fretting over her cake’s soggy bottom, while Clarke shamelessly checks her out. “Looks pretty firm from where I’m standing.”
– “Hey Lexa, you wanna fuck?”
“Sorry, what?”
“I said, do you want a fork?”– Clarke’s whipping up some meringue. She shows the bowl to Lexa. “Look at these peaks. Aren’t they stiff, Lexa? Maybe not enough, think you could… give me a hand?”
– Clarke talking through her technique for filling a cupcake with jam using a syringe. “You have to be careful because sometimes you press down hard and it squirts all over the place.”
Lexa almost drops her piping bag.
– Clarke wiggling her eyebrows at Lexa during the tiramisu challenge. “I’m just going to slip in the soaked lady fingers. God, yours are so much thinner than mine, Lexa.”
The camera cuts to Lexa’s bright red face.
(You can blame @thisismylifecollage @imaginationofacornflake @volatilevision and @gramjams for encouraging/contributing to this silliness.)
#WHAT ABOUT BREAD WEEK – @orangeyouglad8
Bread Week, you say?
Lexa is fuming—actually enraged—when Clarke steals the best technical bake from under her nose. Lexa’s been practicing until midnight all fucking week. Dreamt about working the dough in her sleep. She thought she’d mastered it. Was certain that her blood orange and cinnamon pretzels would impress Paul and Mary, just like they’d wowed everyone at work.
But as she sits in the line up, and Paul declares her bake as the runner-up, Lexa quietly seethes. As Mary praises Clarke’s combination of flavours and the density and texture of the bread—even though the shape went a bit awry—the annoyance only grows.
Everyone applauds Clarke enthusiastically. And, NO, Clarke’s surprised, humble smile does not make Lexa’s stomach swoop. It’s just the anger and bitter disappointment curdling in her gut.
(She’s not really mad at Clarke, Lexa’s incensed at herself. She’d allowed herself to become too distracted all day by Clarke’s suggestive jokes about kneading baps, handing sticky buns, and poking the dough, that it affected Lexa’s performance.)
So in the break during filming, once the cluster of congratulatory contestants and crew have dispersed from Clarke’s station, Lexa can’t hold her tongue any longer.
“You’re not even organised! How can you win this?”
“Passion,” Clarke replies. She locks eyes with Lexa. “Plus I’m good with my hands. Maybe I could show you my technique sometime?”
And, as much Lexa hates herself for it, she’s kind of dying inside. Because WHY IS SHE SO ATTRACTED TO THIS RASCAL?
GBBO is back and I’m consumed with Don’t Wanna Be Your Star Baker feels. Send help.
Can we have it where they make it to the semi finals and Lexa is getting progressively unraveled and disheveled, she’s desperate to win this but Clarke’s a weakness and Lexa is pissed off at herself for letting it get to her so much so that it gets to the point where she goes off. She’s pretty damn rude to Clarke and Clarke is genuinely upset (maybe Lexa throws in something about the “dumbass who attempted to teach Clarke how to bake” not realizing it’s Clarke’s late father). Even Lexa knows she’s gone too far after that.
The next week is spent in shame and silence from Clarke (Clarke somehow convinced a producer to give her Lexa’s number so they’d been texting). When they arrive at the tent for the episode, Lexa’s nervous and guilty. She apologizes and Clarke curtly accepts but girl can hold a grudge which Lex and the producers and cast and crew quickly discover… the whole dynamic is just so off. Clarke is cold and frosty and Lexa is yet again distracted because she can’t stand it. She tries to talk to Clarke but she’s pretty much ignored. In the second round she starts making her own food puns. Lexa is suddenly constantly talking, more in this ep than she has the whole show.
– she throws cherries at Clarke. “Clarke, I cherry-ish you.”
– “Clarke, look. Look, Clarke. Clarke!”
Clarke finally looks up to see Lexa pointedly wiggle her plate of tiramisu.
“Clarke, I tira-miss-you.”
“Please, Clarke, you bake me crazy.”
“Clarke, there’s so mushroom in my heart for you.”
Clarke barely cracks a smile (but the camera gets plenty of shots of her doing so with her back turned to Lexa).
In the showstopper round Lexa knows she has to go big or (and maybe and) go home, so she decides to make a cake to win Clarke over….and it works. They kiss during the awards ceremony and everyone claps. Everyone is a winner that way 😉
And at the very end, after the cameras are off and Clexa are alone and walking to their cars, Lexa asks Clarke out, and without missing a beat, Clarke pulls a wrinkled piece of fruit out of her pocket and hands it to Lexa and says with a straight face, “It’s a date.”
“Are you… have you had that in your pocket the whole time?”
“Maybe.”
“What…you knew? Bold of you to assume this was going to end this way, with us going out.”
“Not really.” Clarke shrugs and hands Lexa a pickle next. “I’m kind of a big dill.”
She walks away, leaving Lexa gaping after her but before she unlocks her car she turns and tosses her another fruit…
🍑
She winks at Lexa and Lexa fumbles and drops all the fruit she’s holding to hurry after her.
I lost it at “I’m kind of a big dill.”
Clarke is such a dork. ❤️
okay but picture this: Clarke always stakes a spot behind Lexa and spends more time paying attention to that cute, pert little booty than her bakes. She just sasses Lexa the.entire.time. People don’t believe she cares about the competition anymore. And at one point, she makes sure to wipe some flour in a very, very noticeable spot on her apron and is asked right quick to change by the producers who blush and fluster, but the slack-jawed gulp she gets out of Lexa is completely worth it.
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ReallyGroovyNinja 