Missing scenes from episode 5×01, “Eden.” Follows Clarke’s thoughts from Becca’s lab to Polis and finally to Shallow Valley and meeting Madi.
Becca’s lab has gone dark except for the emergency lights,
dim but enough.
Clarke knows she is safe, for now, but with the power going
out and being sealed in, she could run out of oxygen at any moment. She has to
think and work fast.
She finds a backpack that can carry some supplies. She scours the lab looking for anything
food-related, looking for medical supplies, bandages, anything to protect from
the elements. She needs to find the generator and make sure it can still run
for a while. She manages all of this.
She discovers the vents and makes sure they are open enough
so she can breathe in case everything else shuts down and she can’t get
out. She’s really worried about not
being able to get out and find food and fresh water. She’s discovered a small cache of protein bars from a century
before that must have been frozen. They taste horrible and probably have little
in the way of nutritional value, but she won’t starve. Right away. And there is water. Maybe enough for a week or more if she
rations it right. But she’s in trouble.
She knows it. She shuts off anything non-essential
to conserve what is left in the generator.
She spends so many nights awake, holding back the tears, the
horror of it all. She has no way of knowing if anyone else survived. No way of
contacting anyone. She has to wait years, if she has that long herself, before
she might know. She has to believe the others have survived, that her mom is
ok, that Octavia will do the right things, that Raven is a genius for a
reason. She doesn’t want to focus on
anything else. But she can’t help
herself.
She finds so many old notebooks and pencils and she can only
think of one thing. She daydreams. She
knows it’s dangerous for her sanity, but she can’t help herself.
Lexa, in her armor, with her sash and sword, or just her
coat, a casual day; Lexa reading, drawing on her maps, riding her horse. Her
beautiful, strange throne. Lexa fighting Roan. Lexa with Aden and the other
Nightbloods. Polis Tower from a distance. All those candles. Lexa’s room.
Lexa’s bed.
The Flame.
While she still sees it all so clearly in her head, she
fills one notebook after another with nothing but images from Polis. She even
draws Titus, tries to remember the tattoos on his head. They meant something,
once. She tries to draw the market, the people she saw, and the children she
met. There was the fishmonger who would gossip about anything, offering her
smoked salmon that was like a taste of heaven. Indra. Anya. Gustus.
The clan symbols.
Someone has to remember it all.
She remembers Lexa’s tattoos, sometimes finds herself
tracing them on her own arms with a pen.
Then she has to stop. If she keeps going, she sees her on
the bed, black blood seeping through the furs, through her hands, how she
panicked, how she couldn’t think what to do. How she failed. How even in death, in a city that wasn’t
really there, Lexa didn’t hate her or blame her. She had kept her word, her
promise of faithfulness. Even in death, Lexa loved her.
It is that moment, waking in Lexa’s arms, that moment of
pure joy at seeing her again, that she hangs on to hardest. The moment when her love came back, when
everything was going to be all right.
ReallyGroovyNinja 